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#1
I asked my wife why she married me.
She said “Because you are funny.”
I said “I thought it was because I was good in bed.”
She said “See? You’re hilarious!”
#2
A guy married a girl traffic sergeant.
At the end of the night, friends wanted to know how did you spend the night.
He sighed and said..,
She fined $2 for overspeed,
A guy married a girl traffic sergeant.
At the end of the night, friends wanted to know how did you spend the night.
He sighed and said..,
She fined $2 for overspeed,
$4 for wrong side entry and
$6 for not following any safety rules.
#3
Once, a couple of housewives were going on a picnic
in the bus.
Unfortunately, the bus suddenly crashed into the river
with no survivors!
Each husband cried a lot for a week.
But one husband was crying more than two weeks.
When people around him asked, he replied miserably..,
"My wife missed that bus!"
#4
A police officer came knocking on my door at late night and showed me a photo.
"Sir, do you recognize this woman"
"Yes I do, that's my wife"
"It appears that she was hit by a truck"
"Fair enough.. but she has a great personality though!"
#5
A couple were driving on a country highway from several miles without saying any word.
An earlier discussion had already led to an argument.
So, they decided not to talk each other for sometime.
As they passed a barnyard of sheep, pigs and mules,
The husband asked sarcastically..,
"Relatives of yours right..?"
So wife replied sarcastically..,
"Yup.., in-laws."
#6
A married man approaches a woman in the supermarket and says: "I've lost my wife in the aisles...
Do you mind if we talk for a while?"
She asks him, "Wouldn't it be better to look for her than to talk to me?"
And the married man answers her:
"But it won't be necessary... every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere...".
#7
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink.
“Is everything okay pal?” the bartender asks.
“My wife and I got into a fight and she isn’t talking to me for a month!”
Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know,..a little peace and quiet?”
“Yea. But today is the last day!”