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1. Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.
2. If you are a married man and if you find yourself attracted to school girls, then buy your wife a school uniform.
3. We are living in a generation where people “in love” are free to touch each other's private parts but cannot touch each other's phones because they’re private!
4. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum and you realize witchcraft is real.
5. You are poor because, when it rains you always think about sex instead of farming.
6. If President Barack Obama wants me to allow marriage for same-sex couples in my country (Zimbabwe), he must come here so that I marry him first.
7. Cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other end.
8. Even satan himself is not a gay, he approached naked Eve instead of naked Adam!!
9. Mr. Bush, Mr. Blair and now Mr. Brown's sense of human rights precludes our people's right to their God-given resources, which in their view must be controlled by their kith and kin. I am termed dictator because I have rejected this supremacist view and frustrated the neo-colonialists.
10. South Africans will kick down a statue of a dead white man but won’t even attempt to slap a live one. Yet they can stone to death a black man simply because he’s a foreigner.