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Three Nuns And A Priest
Once, there were three nuns, they were all sinned and came to the priest for blessings. Knowing this, a priest asked the first nun what her sin was. She replied.., I went to the bar with a guy and had drinks. So priest said ok, blessed her and said go drink some holy water. The priest then asked second nun what her sin was, and she replied, "I spent one night with a man."
So priest said ok, blessed her and said go drink some holy water. The priest asked third nun what her sin was,
She replied.., "I pissed in the holy water."
The Tempting Wallet: A Priest's Prayer For A Bigger Blessing
A priest and a nun were walking through the park when they found a wallet on the ground. The priest says, "Let's keep it! A miracle!" The nun replies, "We can’t take it; it’s not ours." The priest grins, "But it’s filled with cash!" The nun shakes her head. "Father, that's temptation!" The priest winks, "Oh, don't worry. I prayed for a bigger wallet!"
Four Nuns and The Peter In Heaven
Four woman were standing in line at the gates of heaven after their death. So peter asks the first woman if she had ever sinned. She replied, "Well, once I kissed a man. "So peter told her, "Wash your lips with holy water and you may enter heaven." Peter then asked second woman if she had ever sinned. She replied. "Well, once I held a man's p#nis."
So peter told her, "Put your hand in this holy water and you may enter heaven." Seeing this, the fourth woman quickly rushed ahead of the third woman. So peter asked her, "Why did you rush ahead in line?" She replied, "Because I want to gargle before she sits in it!"
Priest, Nun, And A Coin: A Miracle Or A Raise?
A priest and a nun were walking through the park when they stumbled upon a coin. The priest picks it up and says, "Look, a coin! I’m going to donate this to the church."
The nun laughs and says, “Father, aren’t you a bit too old to believe in miracles?”
The priest looks at her and says, “It’s not a miracle, sister. It’s just good fortune.”
The nun replies, “Well, Father, if you were as good at praying as you are at finding coins, we'd be swimming in miracles by now!”
The priest grins, “Then I’ll start praying for a raise!”
Three Nuns Died And Went To Heaven
Three nuns die and went to heaven, where they stand at the golden gates and each have to go to Peter, who tells them they have to answer one question to enter heaven.
"Who was the first man on earth?", Peter asks. Oh, that's an easy one“, the first nun says, “It was Adam of course!“
Music chimes, the gates open and the first nun enters heaven.
"Who was the first woman on earth?", Peter asks the second nun. "Oh, that's an easy one", she says, “It was Eve of course!“ Music chimes, the gates open and the second nun enters heaven. Finally, the third nun stand before Peter. "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?", Peter asks her. "Oh, that's a hard one", she says. Music chimes, the gates open and the third nun enters heaven.
Three Nuns Are Gossiping About A Priest
The first nun said, "I was going through father's desk and found pornographic magazines in his drawer."
The second nun gasped and asked, "What did you do with them?"
"I burned them."
The second nun then said, "I was going through father's drawers and found a box of condoms."
The first nun gasped and asked, "What did you do with them?"
"I poked holes in them."
The third nun fainted.
Under Our Bed: The Nun's Unholy Discovery!
A nun goes to the priest and says "father, there's a hole in the roof of your church."
"Thank you for telling me," he replies "but you've been here for years, it's our church."
The next day the nun goes to the priest and says "father, there's a broken window in your- I mean, our, church." He thanks her again and calls for a repairman.
The following day the priest is preparing for a visit from the local bishop.
As he is weeding the gardens, he cuts his hand. Calling the nun over he says "there's a bottle of rubbing alcohol in my quarters somewhere, could you fetch it for me?" The nun nods and goes looking for it.
It is as the priest is greeting the bishop that she returns from the church and loudly announces "father, don't worry about the weed, the alcohol was under our bed!"