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#1
Boss: Why are you not working!
Employee: Because I didn't see you coming!
#2
Manager is someone who does not know how to do your job, but tells how to do your job!
#3
My boss told me to have a nice day.., so I went home!
#4
Team work is important, it helps to put blame on someone else.
#5
Employee: Boss I am unable to come at work today due to heavy rains, I live in an island now.
Boss: In your job application you mentioned swimming as one of your hobbies, so come to the office now.
#6
My boss told me to start the presentation with a joke, so I attached my payslip on first slide.
#7
An employee convinces his boss that he has a pimple on his butt. So the boss replied, "What! no way! What are you talking about?" And again the employee said.., "Alright, I bet 3000$ that you have a pimple on your butt." The boss get's bewildered for a moment and accepts the employee's bet and says, "Ok!, so what do you want me to do now?" The employee says, "You just need to open your pant so that I can show you the pimple." The boss replies, "This is crazy!", and he opens his pant to show his butt to his employee.
The employee says, "It's too dark here, let's move to the window so that I can it see better". The boss moves to the window, and the employee said, "Ok, you were right, there is no pimple on your butt". And he gives 3000$ to his boss.
"But why did you do that for?", asked the boss bewildered.
So the employee replied, "yesterday I placed a 10000$ bet on your colleagues that today at exactly 4 o'clock, they would see your butt through your office window."
#8
Interviewer: Your initial salary will be $150, but it will be $200 after 6 months.
Interviewee: Ok I will come after 6 months.
#9
Boss: I know it's Saturday, but I need you to be at office today.
Employee: Ok boss, but traffic here sucks.
Boss: But how long does it take an idea?
Employee: By Monday.
#10
Nowadays managers flirt more with their female employees.
#11
A boss was sitting in his cabin, and forgot to zip up his pant!
One female employee entered inside the cabin to talk with boss. After a small talk, boss turned right side to hand her some files. She took it and notices his open zip and replies with shy.., "Sir.., your garage is open!". Boss quickly zipped his pant and gave her a quick smile and says.., "Did you see my brand new SUV parked outside..?" She said.., "No sir, but one black-old Toyota with two punctured tyres!".
#12
Boss: Where do you see yourself after 5 years.
Employee: After 5 years I don't care about company's growth, I will be in better company than this with high pay scale.